Back-to-school is a time of transition for the entire family.  Often, we focus on re-programming our children and their routine to help ready them for the new school year.  But what really needs to happen is a family structure mini-makeover.  I say mini-makeover because a major overhaul is unnecessary.

        Where to begin?

        One technique that I recommend to all parents is what I call Book End Structure. 

        Book End Structure means removing stress from the routines in the morning and at bedtime.  A couple of weeks before school begins, start a regular bedtime pattern with your children.  For young children just beginning school, calming activities in the same order every night will work wonders:  snack, story time, bath time, prayer, and bed, for example.  For older children, a looser yet predictable routine is in order.  Maybe a family talk time, followed by preparing their school items and clothes, and ending with 15–20 minutes of quiet time, reading, writing letters, or listening to music, making clear what time lights go out.

        It is important to include yourself in this nighttime re-structure as well.  Get a bedtime routine established for you.  You may want to prep your clothes, accessories, lunches, even load the coffee pot and empty the dishwasher to make your morning routine less chaotic.  The important thing is to know how you function at your best.  My question to clients is always, “How can you set yourself up for success?”  Then follow through with your answer.  If you have a lot to juggle in the morning, more preparation at night makes sense.

        Even preschoolers can select their clothes (with your help), put their backpacks in the car, and help make their lunches the evening before a school day. 

        The second part of the Book End Structure is the morning routine.  A week before school begins, start practicing getting ready for school on time.  Ahead of time, decide your personal expectations for your children.  Do you want their beds made and their rooms tidied before they leave for school?  Or do you just want them dressed, fed, and loaded in the car on time?  We have morning chores before we eat breakfast as a family.  My children make their beds, dress, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, feed the pets, and wash their hands before coming to the breakfast table.  All I need to do is ask, “Are we ready to eat breakfast?” and they let me know if they have finished their chores.

        This is not a miraculous feat.  I used a technique from the authors of Childwise III (a series by Ezzo and Bucknam).  In their book, they suggest to write each child’s chores on individual note cards and place them face up on a counter.  When the child finishes a chore, they simply flip the card face down.  When all of their cards are face down, they are ready for breakfast (or lunch or dinner or play).  For young children who cannot read yet, you can draw or paste a picture of the task.  This technique is great because it turned over the power of owning the chore from me to my children.  I no longer need to continually remind them of or nag them to finish the chore.  Empowerment is a wonderful tool. 

        Regardless of the technique, the main thing is to get a bit of a routine in the morning.  This will take away much of the stress of the day.  Wake up, get dressed, eat, brush your teeth, let’s go…whatever system works for your family is great. Just get a system started prior to the first day of school.

        For children entering school for the first time or enrolling in a new school, I recommend visiting the school with the child at least one week before school starts to help them familiarize themselves with the school layout.  You can call your new school ahead of time to see what times they will be open before school actually begins.  Make sure your new student knows where his classroom, lunchroom, bathroom, office, and recess areas are located.  For small children, you may need to do this a couple of times.  

        A morning routine for mom and dad is critical to a smooth transition as well.  Most parents prefer to wake up a bit before their children and get ready ahead of time.  I recommend this technique to take away the stress of juggling your own morning routine with that of your children.  Even 15 minutes of quiet time in the morning can help set the tone for a more peaceful day, whether you’re a working or a stay-at-home parent.

        Some practical school-related tips:

•  Keep children involved in reading activities over the summer (or what’s left of it), regardless of their age.  Frequent trips to the local library for reading lists, books on tape, and story times (for younger children) are effective ways to maintain their ability to focus.

•  Talk about what’s going to happen when school starts, what the year looks like, events, sports, activities, and breaks.  Open up the dialogue, especially for teens who may dread returning to school, about activities other than schoolwork—art, social life, clubs, and vacations are all a good start.

•  If your children haven’t seen much of their friends over the summer, schedule some friend-time to help them get reacquainted before school starts.  A trip to the zoo, a movie, lunch, or a sleepover are great ways to help kids reestablish important friendships.

•  Involve your children in the purchase of school supplies and keep in mind there are many local programs that help supplement supplies for children whose families need a helping hand, like the Assistance League’s Operation School Supplies, which is offered through each independent school in Ada County.

•  Make sure you and your children are aware of any school dress codes and policies.  You can usually get a copy of policies from your school prior to the start of the school year as well.

•  Make sure that your children’s immunizations are current and insurance is up to date; many schools require a copy of these for their records.

•  Obtain school admission forms and paperwork ahead of time and fill these out as early as possible to avoid any last-minute rushing.

•  Review book lists and help your children get a head start on reading assignments.

•  Arrange for carpools if necessary.

        Most important, as a parent, you are the best advocate for your child, so take the time to develop a positive and open relationship with your children’s teachers once school starts.  Communicate with them frequently to discuss any concerns or changes in home life that may affect your child at school, and volunteer where you can.  Be a part of your child’s learning environment and share your enthusiasm of life’s adventures with your children—they will flourish with your encouragement and a bit of preparation.

Rebecca Evans is a local author, empowerment coach and motivational speaker.  She resides in Idaho with her husband, four children, two dogs, and three lizards.